#Trace adkins house crack#

Songs that had adult storylines about men (not boys) from women – Patty Loveless, Wynonna, Trisha Yearwood, Reba, Suzy Bogguss.

Hell, even Chattahoochee told a story – so did Boot Scootin’ Boogie. How about making music that actually resembles ’90’s country music?! You know…songs that tell stories. I love how everyone nowadays supposedly has such reverence for ’90’s country music and yet we just get more of this crap (or bro’s singing about how much they love 90’s country music, or grown men singing about girls (women) or women singing about boys (men) in a juvenile and basic way). Well my bro-country-lyric bingo card is blacked out after listening to this one. A song like “Where The Country Girls At”-just like “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”-is an irredeemable offense against the sanctity of country music, and justly relegates you to the dumpster of history. But you can release all the superlative album cuts you want.

Trace Adkins was also caught saying, “I don’t know where my place is gonna be when the history of what I did is written, but 90 percent of the time, I said what I wanted to say and stuck to my guns and did what I wanted to do.” Adkins is even on record saying “Where The Country Girls At” is “this generation’s ‘Honky Tonk Badonkadonk,’” as if that’s a compliment as opposed to an indictment. Trace Adkins would duet with Jeffrey Epstein if he were still alive. There is no unit of measurement capable of calculating the depths of depravity a mainstream country dude will sink to when trying to rekindle their relevance. Seriously, all humans of the female persuasion should be sequestered from having to ever interface with two 40-something men combined with the 59-year-old Trace Adkins white boy rapping lines like, “Where they’re swingin’ them jeans to a hillbilly track. Where the country girls at? We’ll if they’re actually country, they’re giving this shit the slip and cranking Cody Jinks and Sunny Sweeney. From my father never being proud of me to that asshole kid who ripped the flap off of my favorite Trapper Keeper in the 3rd Grade-it’s all being trained on this horror. This is one of the worst country songs of all time, and I’m not about to waste the opportunity to expend any and all accumulated frustrations from life on pummeling this atrocity. “Why are you wasting your time on this, Trig! You should focus your time on something more positive.” There were more people clamoring for Bill Cosby to be let out of prison than for this triumvirate of musical evil to conjoin their powers of collective suckitude into audio form to then be extruded out of the ass end of Music Row to mercilessly skull fuck our ears incessantly. Worldwide.” That’s right, freaking PITBULL makes an appearance, as if they were actively attempting to shoehorn in the worst of all possible elements into this “song.”

#Trace adkins house crack#

Like a crack team of Wuhan virologists looking to game nature to concoct the most diabolical superbug possible, they took an already terrible Trace Adkins song, added a bit of Luke Bryan for bad measure (as if he’s got anything that could boost this effort), and then of all things, dredged up the nuclear ass whip that is “Mr. And still, when Trace Adkins bites the dust, he’ll be most remembered for “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk,” kicking the ass of his own impersonator on a cruise ship, the puppet sex in the video of his stupid song “Brown Chicken Brown Cow,” and now this.īoy, we thought we’d rounded the corner on terrible Trace Adkins songs just like we’d squashed the pandemic with vaccines, only to have this vomitous monstrosity foisted upon us like a new, virulent COVID strain especially adept at circumventing immunization, killing all our grandmothers, and dooming us to wearing face diapers for eternity. One of the greatest voices in country music.